What Was I Thinking?

I was going to write about this yesterday but I totally wore myself out in the morning and as a result most of the afternoon, evening and overnight I slept, a lot. Now it is a new day and I am only around an hour from going to the swimming pool for a couple of hours and then having Ethan help me sort something out at home which will then allow access to my backdoor again. Which is something that I am needing.

So yesterday I had to go to Erina Fair and that is never a place I would go alone and also a place that I have had many panic attacks due to the large crowds in the past. However, no one was available to take me when I was trying to arrange it on Saturday. So Sunday morning I decided I was still going and I was going alone. There was a couple of things I wanted to get done and I was thinking it might be a Sunday, but it is also pissing down rain and in totally wild weather so there might not be too many people there. And also I was there first thing, around 8am.

So at 7.30am I took my anxiety and pain medication and at just before 8am I ordered an Uber to take me to Erina Fair. By the time he arrived my pain and anxiety medication were both kicking in which was fantastic. So, my few hours at Erina Fair started like this.

Firstly, I went to Coles and bought a couple of packets of smokes that I needed. Then outside there was a little cafe and I decided that I was going to have some breakfast as I didn’t eat before leaving home after morning medication. I ordered a big breakfast and a Banana Smoothie. I wasn’t expecting the big breakfast to be so big, you can never know as it varies from place to place.

2 Eggs, Bacon, Hash Brown, Mushrooms, Sausage and Toast. Was also supposed to come with spinach but I said no to that straight off. I hate that stuff.

After this, I went to Kmart and brought a few clothing items. The main thing I was looking for was a hoodie sweat-shirt as I am starting to go to the gym very soon. And I love my hoodies. I was also looking for just a plain long sleeve shirt as we are now coming into winter and that was easy to find. Also picked up a few other little odds and ends also.

Official NBA sweat-shirt hoodie and it was really cheap too. It was only $10.

Then, I went and got a drink and went out and had a smoke and chilled outside for a bit as I still had roughly 40 minutes until the next store I needed to go to was going to open. They didn’t open until 10am on Sunday. But still there wasn’t too many people around at this stage and I was still doing fine.

So, 10am I went up into Embody and got my nose pierced. Yes, you did read that correctly. I have had it done before and I miss it. So I decided it is time for me to make myself happy. And that is the point of my new life. It is now all about me and what I want.

After I got my nose done I noticed more and more people were starting to arrive at the shopping centre, as it is one of the biggest on the Central Coast and the closest to where I am living apart from Westfield at Tuggerah. As I was making my way back towards the undercover bus area, which is where I was going to arrange an Uber home I saw these really colourful shoes which grabbed my attention. So I did a little detour into the store and had a look at them and checked they had my size, tried them on, only one of them and only briefly and then I bought them. I must admit though, I have NEVER in my life spent $240 on a pair of bloody shoes. These were also Nike Air Max. Which would be good for me to use whilst at the gym also. The comfort to use on the treadmill and bicycle to start with will be perfect.

Then I noticed just outside that store was the Boost Juice bar. So I got a Tropical Mango Juice and then made my way out to the bus stop area. Had some more medication as by now they were wearing off and the crowds starting to arrive was starting to affect me. So I had my medication, a smoke, my Boost Juice and just chilled for a little bit before ordering my Uber home. Where I was sitting I was alone with people at other ends so I was fine.

About 25 minutes later I ordered my Uber and went home. Overall it was a total success stepping out big time out of my comfort zone and all alone. If things went wrong I really didn’t know what I was going to do. But it was something that I needed to try, luckily it all went great. But, there is no way I could do it throughout the week or on a normal weekend if the weather wasn’t as bad as it was.

So now I have new clothes, new shoes, a nose piercing and an experience that I did alone that I am very happy with overall.

About The Author

Zac is from the Central Coast of New South Wales in Australia. Zac runs his own online Web Design & Management business. In his spare time, he likes playing computer games, such as Need for Speed Most Wanted, Flight Simulator X, The Sims 4 and various others. Zac also enjoys spending time walking along the shoreline at the beach. Zac has a lot of health, both physical and mental which he is currently working on after a long history of abuse, hardship and decades being homeless. Zac continues to get by day by day and is moving forward with his life and is no longer letting anyone hold him back.