At the moment, life feels particularly stressful as I continue counting down the days until my hospital admission on Monday. With only a few days remaining, I find myself wishing time would move a little faster so that I can finally get some answers and begin whatever treatment may be necessary.
My biggest concern, naturally, is the possibility of losing my right leg. Having already undergone a below-knee amputation of my left leg in 2022, this is not something I can afford to take lightly. Every day that passes brings a mixture of anxiety, uncertainty, and concern about what the specialists may find and what the next steps will be. While I am trying to remain positive, it is difficult not to think about the potential outcomes.
Another concern is the length of my hospital stay. Anyone who has spent significant periods in hospital knows how physically and mentally exhausting it can be. I am hopeful that whatever needs to be done can be addressed relatively quickly, as I do not think I would cope particularly well with another lengthy admission. One positive aspect this time around is that I will have my own wheelchair with me, which will allow me a greater degree of independence and the ability to move around when appropriate rather than feeling confined to a bed or ward.
Due to my mental health conditions, the hospital must arrange a single room for my admission. Being placed in a shared room is simply not suitable for me, and the medical team is aware of this. As a result, additional planning is required before my admission can take place, which is one of the reasons why everything takes a little longer to organise.
At this stage, I already know that the medical team intends to conduct a number of additional tests. One of those procedures involves inserting a catheter through the groin area to examine blood flow and circulation more closely. The specialists are fully aware that I will need to be placed under a general anaesthetic for this procedure. The thought of being awake while anything is done in that area is something I simply cannot manage, and thankfully the medical staff have been understanding of my concerns and have taken them seriously.
I have also made arrangements for my support worker, Bodie, to be with me throughout the admission process. He will arrive at my home at 10:00 a.m. on Monday morning, and together we will contact the hospital admissions department at 11:00 a.m. to receive further instructions. At that point, we should learn what time I need to be admitted and exactly where I need to report upon arrival. Whether that means going directly to a ward or first checking in through the admissions desk remains unclear, but hopefully those details will be confirmed on Monday.
For now, all I can do is wait. The uncertainty is perhaps the hardest part. There are still a few days of stress, concern, and endless thoughts running through my mind, but I am hopeful that the medical team can identify the problem, put a treatment plan in place, and get things under control as quickly as possible.
It’s somewhat ironic when I think back to my New Year’s resolution for 2026: no surgeries and no hospital admissions. Well, I managed to get through the first six months of the year without either, which is something, I suppose. Unfortunately, health issues do not always respect our plans or resolutions. This situation is far too serious to ignore or simply hope will improve on its own.
As always, I will provide further updates when I know more. The next chapter of this story will likely be written from the hospital itself after Monday’s admission.
Until then, all I can do is wait and hope for the best.
Note: written with the help of ChatGPT
