With exactly 2 weeks until another Christmas is upon us this is the worst time of the year for me and many others out there. This time of years is suppose to be full of joy, family and giving. But for a lot of us we have no family, we have no giving and we definitely have no joy.
Every year I am used to spending my Christmas in a park, alone, with my music and just treating it like any other day of the year. The difference is you see all the families together celebrating, unwrapping presents, and having a lot of laughter. Seeing this makes me all the more depressed and I just try to find a place where there is no one and I haven’t got to deal with it for another 12 months.
This year is going to be a little bit different. I have a home so I don’t have to hide away anywhere. The people that run the unit I am in are having some Christmas events. We are having a Christmas Lunch, a BBQ and a gift giving session at the Christmas Lunch (which I believe we are doing on Christmas Eve as the workers are not working on Christmas Day). And I am also not going to go hungry for another Christmas, I will have plenty of food at home and will get myself some little extra treats in the shopping just before Christmas also. Not sure what yet, but I will get myself something.
I can’t really say if I am just going to stay home on Christmas Day or go out somewhere. I will just have to wait and see for this one. And I also don’t know how my depression and anxiety is going to be this year either. Hopefully it will be a lot better then other years. I really hope this year will be different.