Why? That is the question that I have at the moment.
Why is it taking so long to get my forever home?
Why isn’t my major health issues improving after 3 years of hardcore Doctor and Specialists being involved?
Why do people worry about me so much? (As they never had before).
Why am I always feeling like crap?
Why am I always locking myself away and not leaving home? (Even before COVID hit).
Why do things never change even though I am working hard as I can to change them?
Why can I never eat properly?
Why do I have to keep increasing my pain medication?
Why can’t they give me something other than opioid medication to control my pain?
Why? Why? Why?
This is a list that can keep going on, but I think I am going to leave it there for now. There is 10 why questions there as it is now. I think if I keep writing who knows where it would end. My depression is kicking in so bad lately, really from just before the surgery to have my stent put in and it hasn’t gone away. My anxiety and panic attacks are now also happening for no reason at all at home now as well when I am just doing my every day things online. There is no reason for them to actually come on, but they are.
Every morning, no matter what time I get up I have to wear my arthritis gloves for at least an hour or more as it is playing up in hands every fucking day now. I used to get it from time to time and I never used to need the specific gloves, but now it’s got worse and I need too. I know the cold weather affects it but I never used to have that problem in the cold being homeless, and I tell you now, that was a lot colder than where I am now in this unit.
I will continue pushing forward as I have been for nearly the last 3 years now. On the 9th of May this year (2021) I have been in this transitional unit for 3 years after being discharged from hospital and waiting for my forever home.
Anyway, as it is 5.27am – that is enough from me for now.