Panic Attack in Kmart

Today was one of those days that I would rather forget in a hurry. All started with a 7am email. Filming will be done on 11th December, so only 6 days away. Telling my story on homelessness and mental illness. It will for sure be interesting and maybe even a bumpy ride. But I am for sure up for the challenge this will bring.

A little later in the morning went to West Gosford and had blood taken by a woman Vampire who wouldn’t listen to where I said to go and what vein would be best used. After 7 attempts and a slightly raised voice she listened to me and what do you know? She got the vein first go … Not all people in their field know best. I know my body, I know where you can get blood, I have enough of it taken.

This had me a little stressed. But I wasn’t too bad. But what I had realized was that I had left home without having my pain or anxiety medication and we were now on our way to one of the biggest shopping centres on the Central Coast, Erina Fair. We need to arrange a hair cut and some new good looking clothes to make me look a bit smarter for this video doco coming up.

Problem was there were so many people in there I slowly started feeling my anxiety come on. So we got a hair cut done, sweet only 1 person in front and not many others around there. That was fine. A quick trip into Coles to grab something for dinner. A lot of people around could feel anxiety getting a bit worse. But deep breathes and got through it.

Then, we got into Kmart. And OMG that amount of people. We got to the Men’s clothing area, still, so many people around I was getting knocked by several people and that was it. A full-blown panic attack set in. Totally embarrassing, sitting on the floor rocking back and forth talking to myself with my hands covering my face. My caseworker was great through. Somehow, no idea how got me out of the store and back to the car and then brought me home. Had a double dose of medication and settled down. He went back to Kmart and sent through some images of things he thought I would like and we choose an outfit that way. Bit more challenging but we got it done. 

Then I was waiting for a friend on Reach Out Online to come on to have a chat too about this and I was just trying to finish off an email then I woke up like 7 hours later with my head on the computer desk and with a massive headache. Pain meds had and also took something for the headache.

Not sure if I am going to be up for my normal shopping and chemist trip tomorrow after today, but either way I know I need to go to the chemist. Shopping can always be home delivered. Have to just wait and see how I feel tomorrow.

Oh yay, now I have a sneezing fit to the point where my nose bleeds … what else is gonna go wrong today?

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