Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Date:
in: Health

Right now my depression is coming to the surface of everything I seem to do at the moment and my anxiety and panic attacks are beginning to occur more often than normal, even though I am hardly getting out of the unit. If I myself didn’t know better I would think I have myself back in a total form of “lockdown” again, but I don’t. I am just not getting out much at the moment due to health (the recent heart surgery and my left leg and both feet still) and transport reasons. 

There isn’t anything that I can put my finger on at the moment that is triggering my depression again. Except for maybe the fact that my Doctor has just changed my bipolar dosage from 50mg x once daily to 75mg x 3 times daily. So to me, that is a massive increase and is the only thing that I can think of for the reasoning behind this. It is something I am going to have to raise with her when I speak to her early next week.

For right now there is nothing I can do but just try and hang in there. Mental Illnesses are the worst things to try and deal with, especially really on your own.

About The Author

Zac hails from the Central Coast of New South Wales, Australia, spends his free time playing computer games such as GTA-V FiveM, Need for Speed Most Wanted (Black Edition), Flight Simulator X, and The Sims 4. He once enjoyed leisurely walks along the beach before his below-knee amputation (BKA) in June 2022. Currently, Zac is on a path to recovery, confronting both physical and mental health challenges arising from a history of abuse, adversity, and prolonged homelessness. With each passing day, he continues to persevere, striving for improvement in his life, and remains resolute in not allowing his past to dictate his future. Zac has a lot of health, both physical and mental which he is currently working on after a long history of abuse, hardship and decades being homeless. Zac continues to get by day by day and is moving forward with his life and is no longer letting anyone hold him back.