It Begins Again …

And so it is starting all over again. My depression is starting to sink in more and more lately. And after shaving my head this morning as I was due to cut to my hair I have noticed that my big chunks of psoriasis patches are coming over my scalp again. This is not a good sign for the new medication injections I am taking for it. The next dose is in about 6 weeks, then another 8 weeks after that. So I will just have to wait and see what happens with that. But having the patches come back make me depressed and make me lock myself away from the world even more than I already do.

I won’t finish this post before I get picked up in twenty minutes to go out for lunch with my caseworker to discuss a few things and have a nice lunch at the leagues club. He is trying to get me out several times a week especially with what is happening with my antidepressant medication right now, which is nothing. The Doctor is still trying to find one that will work and not give me major side effects, especially like the last one after only one dose. I speak with her again tomorrow, so hopefully, she will have some more ideas on what the fuck we are going to do.

I have also had to put my iPad up for sale due to medical bills but I am not really sure if I want to let go of it. I know I don’t use it as much as I want, but that is on me. I could get a lot more use out of it if I really start using it for what I want. Things are just so tight and tough right now that I am not sure what to do. I will see what happens with this one. I have had 2 messages from people and have replied and waiting to hear back and then I will have to decide.

Also, the other day I had to make the very hard decision to let get of a so-called friend. We have been having problems for some time now. And I have had no contact from him for over 1 1/2 months so removed him from my Facebook and am just moving on now. Haven’t even heard from him since doing that. To me that says a lot. He knows who he is and I know he reads here, so I don’t need to mention his name.

Right now I feel that I am losing everyone in my life. I know some of these people it is for the best, but there are others that I am not sure on. I even feel that I am losing a certain family member again. If that happens I know I won’t cope with that. It has happened too many times before. And if it does happen again, it will be for the last damn time. I can’t handle the stress that goes along with what happens to me afterwards.

Anyway, I have to leave this here until I get back as I have ten minutes until pickup. And I have to finish getting ready. So I will continue this later today, either when I get home or after I get home and have a nap.

** continued 9 hours later after a nice long sleep **

So, lunch was great. I had Turkish Herb Bread, Chicken Snitzel with mashed potato, mushroom sauce and salad and a glass of coke. And yes I did take a picture of it. This is directly below:

This was from Archies at the Central Coast Leagues Club (CCLC). And it is also the same place that Joanne and I will be going for lunch in the coming weeks. But next time I think I might actually have a rump steak or something I have never had before, will have to wait and see what I feel like on the day. Steve had exactly the same thing I did, but instead of mashed potato, he had chips. And they looked good too. I couldn’t eat it all, got close, but I was just so tired and exhausted that I couldn’t finish. But man it was so nice. 

Have a Doctor appt. in the morning at 8.45am. We have a lot to go over tomorrow. From antidepressants to the foot wounds to other personal stuff. 

Anyway, I might go and do some PC updates and then play some Tower!3DPro for a bit whilst America’s Got Talent 2020 is on the TV in the background, but that will get muted when I play my game for a bit. Anyway, more from me after the Doctors tomorrow I will update you on what she has said.

About The Author

Zac is from the Central Coast of New South Wales in Australia. Zac runs his own online Web Design & Management business. In his spare time, he likes playing computer games, such as Need for Speed Most Wanted, Flight Simulator X, The Sims 4 and various others. Zac also enjoys spending time walking along the shoreline at the beach. Zac has a lot of health, both physical and mental which he is currently working on after a long history of abuse, hardship and decades being homeless. Zac continues to get by day by day and is moving forward with his life and is no longer letting anyone hold him back.

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