As my ordered isolation continues I am totally going bat crazy mad. I am beginning to think about things and make decisions that are totally against my normal judgement. Talk of going back to the street, even though I am not going to do it. It is just how I feel with being constantly locked up and not even being able to sit on my balcony, as it is a shared balcony. I can’t even go to the bin or check my mail. I have to rely on my caseworkers to do shopping, collect my medication and if they can’t I have to pay expensive delivery rates (which I can’t really afford).
I have been getting a lot of work done lately and also catching up on a lot of sleep. But that is usually because I am having to take a little extra pain relief for my leg. And also that mixed with my antibiotics due to the infection swelling up my right foot this time around and having a wound about the size of a 50c piece. So not a small hole in the foot this time. So it is very painful. I have a couple of pairs of shoes that I cannot wear due to the swelling.
Now I also understand more as to why my counsellor and Doctor have also said that they do not want me in a bedsitter unit with my mental health. It actually makes a lot of sense now. And it is also something that I would now have to agree with also.
I just want to get out of isolation, so then I can at least sit on my balcony again, have a coffee and a smoke and be able to sit back in my big black leather reclining lounge. At least I would be able to get some fresh air and be outside of the unit for as long as I want on the balcony.
I bought myself and my mum a new donor cover and pillowcase set today. We both actually really like it.