Well it is completely and utterly disgusting the way our countries Prime Minister was caught up in a protest yesterday because of comments from the Opposition Leader Tony Abbott. And worst of all to happen on the day we were celebrating Australia Day. Now, don’t get me wrong I am all for protesting and freedom of speech, but yesterday was way out of control.

Then this morning we find out no one is being charged of the incident. Disgusting, totally bloody disgusting.

Well right now I must say that I am totally over just about everything. I am totally sick of people using and abusing me because I now have somewhere to live and am doing whatever I need to so that I have a decent life.

As a result of things over the last month I have had to come to the total conclusion that I must now ban people from staying with me for more then one night. If people can not accept this then I am sorry but there is nothing that I can do.

I can no longer have people at my home that are smoking pot, injecting drugs and even damn well sniffing paint through a plastic bag and not even have the respect to get rid of it when they leave … I am not your fucking housekeeper. So it is a result of this that I have now go no choice but to ban people from my place.

Accept it or not, I really don’t care anymore. This is just something that I now need to do to make sure I am not dragged down into a situation that I can no get out off.

Well the title of this post says it all. This is only going to be a short and sweet blog post. This is mainly for the viewing by my ex. Now you know that I love you to death and I suppose I always will. And there is really nothing that is going to change that at the moment.

I know you want to be back together and I am sorry but that can not happen. You hurt me too much before. I can no longer trust you with what you did to me. I still hurt from it, I still hate you for it. But at the end of the day I do still love you. But we both have to move on from this. Cause there is no hope in hell of us ever getting back together. Plain and simple, end of story, no ifs buts or maybe, it will never happen.

After much thought and debating with myself there is a lot of things that need to be expressed and also need to be said … I am sick of holding back … I am sick of letting people get away with shit, so it’s time for me to actually say what I think and actually say who they are too as well. Yes I know, I usually do not mention names, but I am also sick of that as people really have no clue as to who I am talking about … And as these people actually need to understand I am going to name them … Don’t like it? Well build a bridge and jump off it then.

Sam
Your are a two timing, back stabbing bastard.  Here I was went out of my way to help you only to have you not give a fuck. All you wanted to do was smoke your drugs on my balcony and get me in shit with the NSW Housing Department, and also always be on your phone on Facebook and getting shitty because of what people say and do on there … Dude if you don’t like it remove the fuckers or stay the fuck of it. Stop taking your shit out on other people.

The thing that you need to realize Sam is that your not going to get the help you need until such time as you want the fucking help. Here I was about to link you in with Neami and then you didn’t want it. You thought you could just stay with me forever how fucking long. Well you found out that could not be the case at all.

Jeremy
Dude things from the past are in the past. I did email Grace as you know and she said she said nothing. I don’t know who is lying and really I do not give a shit. In future please just don’t tell me anything else. I just don’t care anymore. It’s now a new year and also it is time for me to move forward in my life. I am putting the past behind and moving forward, you can either be apart of that or not. The choice is yours.

Nick
Well dude what can I say really … Out of most people within my life there hasn’t been many that has stuck by friendships through thick and thin. Even though we have had our issues before they are in the past and we always move forward. You are one person (of only a short few) in my life that I do classify as a close and true friend.

The week ahead – Mon 9th – Fri 13th Jan 2012
There is a bit going on this week. The major thing happening this week is oral surgery on Wednesday at 12noon. I have a tooth, well the last tooth, on my upper top and the roots are so thick and so close to the bone that they can not just pull the tooth out. On Wednesday I am being completely put under for them to cut into my gums to get the tooth out … Should be fun and a lot of pain afterwards … So tread carefully from Wednesday afternoon as I will be in too much pain to put up with any crap.  

Friday I have my caseworker coming around to work out a shopping list for the next week … The first decent shop without getting all junk. The exercise program and weight loss journey also beings near the end of the week. This will all be planned from Friday as the food will be ordered online on Saturday for delivery the next business day.

Anyway enough rambling for now … More later chow.

Well, right now things are a little bit rough for me. I have had to do something that I have been trying to avoid. But it’s all just too much for me now. At the end of the day the couple of people I spoke to about this problem have advised that I need to do what is right for me … That I need to begin thinking about me and not worrying about what people say or do.

I hate to admit it, but on this occasion they are actually right too. My stress levels have been going a little mental and I just need to be living on my own, stress free and without drama. I have a new life now and I have to begin to think about things that are happening with me and not anyone else for a bit.

There is so much going on and about to start happening that it’s time to put me 100% first. If that means losing friends and hurting other people because of the decisions that I need to make I can not do anything about that. And if people do not understand it then I can not help that. If people can not be supportive and understanding then I am sorry but I can not help you.

If people are not prepared to help themselves by linking in with the services that they need to get themselves off the streets then I can not do anything to help either.

I am not going to mention a name here, but people on my Facebook with know who I am talking about … All I can say is that I am sorry but I need to look out for myself now. Once I am back on track 100% myself I should be able to help others in an off the internet way, but for right now I need to put all my energy into my health, home and personal needs, then the Homeless Australia website, and all this before I can look at anything else …

Really you have to be fucking kidding me don’t you? I don’t even know why the fuck I kept you in my life, all you do is constantly cause me drama and your doing it again for fuck sake.

Seriously dude, what part of fuck off and stay outta my life don’t you understand? If you seriously think I am going to reply to your email or comments on a blog post (which might I add don’t even go public and get deleted) you have another fucking thing coming.

I am sick of the shit and drama. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE AND FUCKING STAY OUT!!! Is that simple enough English for you fuck knuckle? Now just do it. Or it is going to be something that you will end up regretting.

Right now I am so pissed off … My head is currently running a millions miles an hour and I think I am being used by people. I am a bit sick and tired of this shit. I do not want to deal with anyone or anything anymore. I have had enough, it’s all getting too fucking much for me to handle. And the worse thing is no one fucking understands …

I don’t really give a shit what anyone thinks anymore. I am a bit over everything. Fuck all I want is the same fucking respect I have been giving to other people … Why have you gotta treat me like a piece of fucking shit in the gutter? Fuck it. I am so over it and you. Just leave me the fuck alone. I am not going to put up with it anymore. You know who you are … I am not going to mention names, I am not like you at the moment, but if this doesn’t stop I will name and shame you twit.

I thought my life was suppose to change to the part where I would be happy, but guess what? I am not happy right now. I don’t know how long this will last. I feel like I want to put myself in “lockdown mode” … Lock up the unit with me inside, no one in, no one out. Plain and simple. But I do not want to have to do that either. That is going to fuck me up even more.

Arh … I will give it a few days and see how I feel … but as for you, you can go fuck yourself.

This is the last entry for 2011. And a bit of a major post at that. As you would know there were a lot of changes late in 2011 … but now there needs to be even more changes which reflect my new life and what I want to achieve in my life now. Now this may upset some people as to what I am about to do … and I am sorry for that. But if you are a friend, then you will support me in my decisions to better myself and my life.

Firstly, the negative talk that has embarked my life for the last several weeks is gone. It’s time to stop being so negative on everything in my new found life. I can do anything with the support that I now have from my friends here in Australia and around the world.

Secondly, 2012 will begin to full on launch, running and working on the Homeless Australia website. This site has been created to tell my story of the last 21 years and also to raise awareness of Homelessness in Australia.

Thirdly, anyone that is currently in my life that will not support my decisions and continue to try to bring me down to their level will be fucked off out of my life. I don’t need people like this in my life anymore.

Fourthly, I will be creating a personal schedule which needs to be kept (to the most point – I know that things come up from time to time which will change this without notice, but these events can not be helped). I can not and will not allow anyone to come between me and the new schedule, which will be arranged in the first week of 2012.

Fifthly, a major change for 2012 will be me concentrating a lot on getting my health back on track so that I can do the things that I want to do. This includes, but is not limited to, taking my insulin and medication, exercising to lose weight and whatever else I think is needed in getting my health better.

There is more, but these are the major ones that I wanted out there from the start. I will post the rest over the coming week(s) as to other things that will begin or start in 2012. But I must let people know, that I will no longer stand for the crap that a lot of people have put me through, nor will I allow anyone to stand in my way of achieving the things that I now want to achieve.

Anyway, that is enough for now. Stay tuned for more over the coming days.

It’s time I began creating a life for myself now that things are beginning to get on track within my life. And as it is so close to being 2012 this is the best time to begin the start of a new life for me.

At the end of 2011 a major change occurred within my life. I went from being on the streets sleeping rough, and anywhere I could find at night, to living on the 5th story of a 16 story unit block – and having a 2 bedroom unit to myself.

On top of all this I am beginning to put my skills into practice to help others who are homeless in this country.

As 2012 begins there will be more major changes happening within my life … but for what they are and when they will exactly start you will need to wait until 2012.