Right now everything is starting to become too much. This stupid diabetes is causing me nothing but problems. One of the major problems being diabetic is that it effects your feet and takes forever to heal. And that is exactly what is happening now. Diabetic Ulcers on both feet and also issues with my left big toe which is not getting any better even with 2 hospital stays of 11 days and another now (currently at 6 days and counting).

I just want to leave here and start getting on with life. But this is something that I can’t do until I get on top of things with my damn feet. They don’t want me to leave either until there is accommodation in place as it will just keep getting worse and worse until I possibly lose a foot. And I be buggered if I will even consider allowing them to do that.

Sometimes I have to wonder why me. It is just another thing that I need to deal with. Another thing that I don’t need to be dealing with as there is enough going on already, but I know this is the worse at the moment even though I don’t want to admit it and just leave. But I know I can’t do that either, no matter how much I want to.

The only question I really have is … Why?

Day 5 – Another Hospital

Well this is day 5 that I am still in hospital (for Round 2). I can’t believe it has gone so quick. But with everything that is going on I am still totally over it. Blood Tests, needle prodding, antibiotics, drips, pain medication. It’s all just the same stuff on a different day.

Today I am going to see if I am get a “Gate Release” – means that I can leave the hospital for a short period decided upon between me and my doctors. I need to get a few things done this morning. I only need about an hour and I hope they allow me to go or I will probably just go anyway. They have to do this in case anything happens when I am out then they are liable.

I could see when they dressed my feet again last night they there is getting some improvement, but looks like my big toe is getting worse though. Have to wait and see I suppose. It also appears from what they where saying yesterday is that I am going to be in at least until the middle of next week. Hopefully not that long, but I am expecting it now and possibly longer as we are also waiting on Gosford to get in touch with the Social Worker. Fiona, she is a nice lady and doing what she can to help in this time.

Anyway it’s 7.10am it’s nearly time for breakfast and nurse change. Then I will let them know I want to arrange a Gate Release for today for about an hour. Anyway that will do for now. I’ll write some more a bit later when I know a bit more.

Totally Over It

Well I am over it. Totally over it. Everything is just too much. All this time in hospital and still going … There is so much going on in my life at the moment already that this on top and how long it’s been going on for is getting all too much. I am just so over it all …

I know that things will begin to return to normal a bit when they get my health back on track and then we can begin working on the other issues that need to be sorted … Some of them important, but I can’t do anything about them at the moment from in here.

I am going to see if I can get a little bit of time out tomorrow and see if I can leave the hospital for a couple of hours. I hope they will allow it. If not I will probably just go anyway. Just wouldn’t be able to be that long. But I do need to go into Mona Vale tomorrow at sometime if I can. There are things I need to do and things I need to buy. Especially since I know for a fact that I will be in here til the middle of next week sometime, if not longer.

Recently I reconnected with an old friend from the US and it has been good catching up with him and it’s good having him back in my life to talk to. The recent letter bombs going off in Austin, Texas was right where he was. So glad he is safe and sound and that he wasn’t right there, but he wasn’t too far away when the one went off the other day. Stupid fucking bombers …

Anyway that’s enough from me for now, just about to have some more pain relief which means I will probably be back asleep for a bit soon, even at 3.55 in the afternoon. And about an hour til dinner. I think I choose Roast Pork for tonight. I love pork … Yummo!